Going Through A Phase
We are all almost always in the process of learning something new,
developing an underused ability or talent, or toning down an overused one.
Some of us are involved in learning how to speak up for ourselves,
while others are learning how to be more considerate. In the process of
becoming, we are always developing and fine tuning one or the other of our
many qualities, and it is a natural part of this process that things
tend to get out of balance. This may be upsetting to us, or the people
around us, but we can trust that it’s a normal part of the work of
For example, we may go through a phase of needing to learn how to say
no, as part of learning to set boundaries and take care of ourselves.
During this time, we might say no to just about everything, as a way of
practicing and exploring this ability. Like a child who learns a new
word, we want to try out this new avenue of expression and empowerment as
much as we can because it is new and exciting for us and we want to
explore it fully. In this way, we are mastering a new skill, and
eventually, as we integrate it into our overall identity, it will resume its
position as one part of our balanced life.
In this process, we are overcompensating for a quality that was
suppressed in our life, and the swinging of the pendulum from under-use to
overuse serves to bring that quality into balance. Understanding what’s
happening is a useful tool that helps us to be patient with the
process. In the end, the pendulum settles comfortably in the center, restoring
balance inside and out.
I really need some help…just realised I can’t do this on my own…